Adult Emotional Dependency (AED) is the” until-today unidentified”, most common psychological compulsive condition on earth; the root-cause of uncharted anxiety & fear, stress, lack of confidence, addictions, depression, poor performances and much more…
Adult Emotional Dependency (AED) defines the devastating mental condition caused by the continuation in adulthood of Emotional Dependency.
Emotional Dependency is part of the ‘cycle of life’ formed by three precious involuntary behavioral programs: in-love, parental love and emotional dependency. These are behaviors essential for life, hard-coded in humans and animals with the purpose of the continuation of the species. They are DNA inherited therefore not learned, and activated or deactivated only by specific conditions. This makes them ‘involuntary’, meaning that we can’t modify them or start/interrupt them voluntarily.
1. In-love: hardcoded in our mind to promote procreation. In the frame of specific conditions favorable to procreation, the behavioral program ‘in-love’ enters into action by binding two people emotionally. It uses emotional (not logical) tension implemented by attraction, pleasure, anxiety and fears to reinforce the bond between the parties, aiming to create a family and procreate. When initiated it can’t be interrupted until the conditions are changed.
2. Parental love: hardcoded in our mind to compel parents to fulfill their children’s mental, physical and emotional needs. It represents the most powerful emotional bond in human and animals species. It remains dormant until a child is conceived or born, but when initiated can’t be interrupted until the child becomes a self-reliant adult.
3. Emotional Dependency: hardcoded in our mind to protect and stimulate the development of a young life. This involuntary program uses powerful emotion to compel children to seek:
• Safety – seeking protection upon adults.
• Mental development – seeking leadership validation and guidance.
• Emotional and physical development – seeking adult’s love and care.
It starts at birth and is supposed to be terminating just before puberty, when the young adult is meant to enter the phase of emotional self-reliance.
Young adults terminate their Emotional Dependency using models of self-reliance learned from parents and caretakers. Unfortunately, most parents are either emotional absents or over-caring, and in most cases affected by Adult Emotional Dependency (AED) themselves; thus, they are unable to provide efficient self-reliance models.
Without proper self-reliant education the young adult doesn’t own the necessary awareness and tools required to reach emotional independence. Thus, this ensures Emotional Dependency stays active after puberty, transferring the compelling need for leadership, love, safety, validation and guidance from ‘adults’ to ‘others’, i.e. friends, partners, colleagues, social environment, and may carry on through the entire life. This is the condition defined as Adult Emotional Dependency (AED).
Adult Emotional Dependency (AED) in adulthood is the cause of the symptoms related to being emotionally dependent upon ‘others’; these include fears of rejection, abandonment, judgment, narcissism, emotional numbness, solitude, lack of confidence, lack of identity etc., and byproducts such as anxiety, addictions, depression, lack of focus, confusion, overwhelm and more. Because emotions use a large amount of brain resources, Adult Emotional Dependency (AED) massively misuses brainpower causing poor performances in every aspect of life, work, school and sport.
The devastating emotional effects caused by Adult Emotional Dependency can be compared to the negative emotional responses produced by ‘in-love’ or ‘parental love’ if strained. Think about the anxiety, fear and pain produced by “in-love” in case of separation or betrayal from the loved one; or the worries, anxiety and fears produced by “parental love” in the case of a difficult rapport with their children, or the unbearable emotional pain produced by the dead of a youngster.
Adult Emotional Dependency terminates only if emotional self-reliance is implemented. As soon the missing parental self-reliance models are acquired, AED ceases and the connected emotional consequences are cleared. The emotional freedom produced by the termination of AED provides the ability to transform the needs produced by dependency to the autonomy of choice offered by interdependency; it also frees all the brainpower misused by AED, which becomes available for high-performance, creativity and happiness.